Bibi’s Big Brainstorm

Net 2

December 2nd, 2014:  the French Parliament passes a resolution asking that France recognize a Palestinian state.

 

Net 1

December 30, 2014: France votes “Yes” on a UN resolution that would have required Israeli forces to withdraw to their pre-1967 borders by 2017.

 

Net 9

“Ooh, those frogs!  I could choke every one of them with a baguette! NOBODY crosses BIBI and gets away with it!”

 

Net 3

“Think, Bibi, think! What to do?”

 

Net 14

“Of course! What we ALWAYS do!”

 

Net 4

“Tamir, can you send me over five scriptwriters right away – the best Mossad has got! I need them to pitch me ideas for a new false flag!”

 

Net 23

“OK, people. Now that you’re all here, no time for schmoozing! Right down to business!”

 

Net 41

“Of COURSE I’m in a bad mood! It’s not just this France thing – I haven’t killed a Palestinian in almost a week!  You know I always get a humongous migraine when that happens!”

 

Net 63

“Now, here’s what I’m thinking. We sucked the Americans in with 9/11, right?“

 

Net 26

“Ah, yes, 9/11 – I get all goose-pimply just thinking about it!”

 

Net 13

“So here’s my NEW idea – we have some of our guys dress up in the usual Arab costumes and plant a giant ‘Bugs Bunny blockbuster’ in the Eiffel Tower.”

 

Net 21

“And then. . .  KER-BLOOEY!  No more Eiffel Tower!  They’ll be picking up the pieces in Cherbourg!  The frogs will be SCREAMING for war with Syria! They’ll be standing in line for hours, BEGGING for a chance to kiss my ass!  I should charge them for tickets maybe?”

 

Net 5

“What’s that?  After the Mirage jet deal, we promised the Grand Orient we’d lay off the Eiffel and the Arc de Triomphe?”

 

Net 29

“Oy vey!  Well. . .  a deal’s a deal!  We’ll have to SCRAP the Eiffel idea!”

 

Net 15

“OK, people, let’s hear YOUR ideas!  That’s what you’re getting paid for!”

 

Net 53

“All in favor of Izzy’s Charlie Hebdo idea, say ‘aye’!”

 

Net 36

“But I want to play it safe – we’ll use the same plot elements that worked so well in OTHER false flags.”

 

Net 6

“Let’s pin it on TWO Muslims who are brothers – that profile worked for the Boston Marathon.  Find me the usual patsy types who have no clue we’re setting them up. Just be positive neither one of them survives this time!”’

 

Net 60

“To make sure the police know who they are, we’ll have them leave behind their ID. Worked like a charm for 9/11!”’

 

Net 8

“Leave behind a Koran? Hmm. . .  well, Ilana, I know it’s worked really well in the past, but we’ve done it so many times now, I feel it’s starting to get a little schmaltzy, almost a cliché. Isn’t there something new the crisis actors could do that screams ‘I’m a Muslim’?”

 

Net 33

“Have them shout Muslim phrases like ‘Allahu Akbar’?  Excellent!  But that means we’ll have to have it on videotape. Otherwise that putz ‘truth movement’ will claim there’s some question about what was really said!”

 

Net 38

“So, we’ll put one of our guys from IBA Channel 1 up on the roof to film the whole thing.  If the French schmucks ask what an Israeli was doing there, we give them the usual explanation: sheer coincidence.”

 

Net 42

“Next, I want to recycle a little something from that blown psy-op in Sydney.”

 

Net 39

“But THIS time no screw-ups! I know that patsies have to be dimwits, but the guy you picked thought Lindt was an Israeli firm!  This time the hostages are taken in a KOSHER market, no ifs, ands or buts!”

 

Net 61

“Now, for the final touch, we’ll borrow from the Ottawa psy-op!  Remember how bent the Canadian patriots got after bumping off a guard at the tomb of their unknown soldier?  Well, on their way out of Paris, we’ll have our guys do the same thing at the tomb of FRANCE’S unknown soldier!”

 

Net 31

“What? Really?”

 

Net 58

“Crap, we’ll have to ditch that one – I forgot that he’s buried at the Arc de Triomphe. It’s in that friggin’ ‘no false flag’ zone.”

 

Net 50

“But, hey, you have to look at it philosophically – you can’t have everything!”

 

Net 51

“I’m good with the plan.  I think we’ve got ourselves a false flag, people! That’s a wrap!  Now get to work on it!”

 

Net 19

“Please, please! No applause!  I couldn’t have planned it without you all!  After all, spreading mayhem, misery, deceit and chaos throughout the world can only be achieved through collaboration and a true spirit of teamwork!”